self help, Thankful, Uncategorized

Finding Time For Myself

Hi! My name is Alishia and I am a KraftaholicMommy!

I know this title may come across as pretty selfish. People who are not stay at home moms tend to think that we have all the time in the world to do for ourselves while the munchkins are in school. Allow me to take you through a day in my life.

6am- Wake up (Pray, make coffee, Read my Bible.)

6:30am- Get Monkey up, dressed, make breakfast, get lunchbox made.

7:15am- Morning prayers, get shoes on and out the door by 7:25am.

7:30am- drop off Monkey at school

7:40am- The real fun begins

At this point time no longer matters.

I am cleaning, washing clothes, writing for the website, making crafts for future posts and gifts, and getting dinner prepped. Not to mention any errands that need to be ran. I do all of this while fitting in eating and getting anything that I need personally. I am also trying to get things done that would be easier if Monkey wasn’t there. Grocery shopping, being at the church when people are working on the church, and being available to do things for those who need me. All by 2:30pm.

2:30pm-Pick up the munchkin

2:45pm- Homework, playtime, creative time, chores, bath time.

5pm- Free time for the munchkin, while I finish folding laundry, getting the rest of dinner together for the husband as he is headed home.

Also at 5pm- One of my favorite times, my daily phone call with my mom.

6pm- I start cooking dinner that way the husband has a home cooked meal ready for him when he comes in the door.

7pm- Eat dinner, family time

7:45pm- Start getting Monkey ready for bed, reading time, and night prayers

8:15pm- Clean the kitchen from dinner, sit down for a few minutes to chat with the husband.

9pm- Husband goes to bed, I stay up to crochet, finish any loose ends from the day, finish that last load of laundry, finish editing a post on the tablet for the website, and finally catch up on maybe one of my shows while I work on new patterns.

1am- I finally go to bed.

This is a typical day. Did you see anywhere in there, where I have a free moment? Yeah, I didn’t either. So what do I do to relax, to truly breathe for a moment? That time at 9pm when I am crocheting. and coming up with new patterns. That is my time to relax. After a few years of this fun schedule, I needed something to change. I realized that even I needed some time to myself to collect my thoughts, to breathe, to feel a bit pampered. I started scheduling time. Every other Friday, I go to my favorite nail salon and I get a pedicure and my nails done. If for whatever reasons, I am unable to get my nails done on that Friday, I leave the husband and munchkin Saturday morning and I go then.

This isn’t me ditching my job as a mom and wife. This isn’t me trying to push away my responsibilities. This is only me trying to be able to keep doing all of that stuff. I need a little of time and I make that time every two weeks. I schedule it, why? Because if I don’t, I will skip it. There are plenty of things that I can come up with that need to be done instead of that. However, if I don’t take time for myself for my mental health, I will not be at my best for my family. I want to be the best I can for them.

I know that I will get flack from old school moms that think that I am being selfish. Trust me, sitting in the nail salon not too long ago, I had a very enlightening conversation with an older woman about this. I had ran into a very old friend at the nail salon and she and I decided to sit by each other to get our feet done. She and I were discussing our lives and how much we needed the pampering. The very nice lady then informed us that in her day; when you have kids you give up things like getting pampered. I asked her if a mom who gets herself pampered is a bad mom. The woman thought for a moment and said yes. I informed her that all of my errands were ran, that my little man was in school and that I had made the time while he was in school to come and get my pampering in. To which she responded that she was right regardless of my preparations. Rather than getting into an argument with someone while I am trying to actually relax, I informed the lady that I understand her perspective and that while I disagree with her, I hope she enjoys her pampering.

In a world where everyone feels it necessary to judge each other, I know how hard it is to take that time and do what you need to for you. I know how hard this next statement is; ignore them. You have to Sunshine, you just have to. If you spent the time to follow the judgments that come your way, how will you even have time for your family. Your mental health matters, your emotional state matters, you matter.

I take that couple of hours every two weeks. I do it for my family, my mental health, for me. I enjoy getting pampered. There are those days that come, that I need a few minutes to myself. Allow me to give you an example of one of those days.

I had a rough morning, I woke up late, my coffee spilled all over the kitchen counter, and I had forgotten my Bible at the church the night before. Monkey got off to school and everything that I did during the day was a disaster. Nothing seemed to want to work right, my brain was scattered. It was so scattered that I put a load of laundry in the washer and forgot to turn it on. I literally left my coffee in the microwave and forgot all about it until I went to heat up another cup. I went to pick up the little one and traffic to get to the school was so horrible it took thirty minutes to get to the school, when it should have only taken five at best. We finally get home and things were not any better. Monkey was in a rough mood and everything upset him, he was very vocal about that, he was demanding snack, the phone was ringing off the hook, and I was being pulled in so many directions I thought I was going to be sick.

My mind was breaking and I was feeling overwhelmed. I stopped. I turned my phone on silent, I made Monkey his snack, and I went into my bedroom and I cried for a good five minutes. When all was said and done, I got up, went to the bathroom and cleaned my face, and I got back at it. I returned all of those calls, I finished everything I needed to do. When my husband came home that night and he knew my day was rough. No complaints about a quick dinner of grilled cheese and soup. No complaints of me having him put our kid to bed, while I took a bubble bath.

I felt so guilty that day. I had this thought in my head that I was like Super Mom. That day proved to me that I was not. My husband reminded me that I am only one person and I can only do so much. He also reminded me that sometimes, I need more than just a nail salon every other week to get myself together.

I take the lesser amount of sleep each night so I can have that recharge. I take that time to really put my mind in a good place. I want to feel productive, I want feel accomplished every single day, I want to be able to do everything, and I know that not every day that is going to happen. I have grown to be okay with that. I am learning to take things in stride and I am learning to take time for myself. I am learning that it’s okay to have the husband be the one to put Monkey to bed so I can take a relaxing shower or bath. That it’s okay to go get my nails done.

I hope this helps someone out there.

Thank you so much for stopping by today, I hope you enjoyed today’s post. If you did, please give this a like, comment, and share so others can join the fun. Thank you so much for all of your support, it truly means so much to me. Until next time,

Thank you!

God Bless!

Happy Krafting!

-KraftaholicMommy

facebook.com/kraftaholicmommy

instagram.com/alishia_blount

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