Hi! My name is Alishia and I am a KraftaholicMommy!
I have been working on a lot of crafts that I will be sharing with you all soon! I cannot wait to show you all the little cards that I am making for Monkey’s class for Valentine’s Day! I am also working on some boxes to stash some candy in for the munchkins of his class. Recently, I visited My Favorite Things Boutique in Eustis, Florida and I am so excited to share my haul with you all.
Today, I wanted to talk about something that I have had to deal with over the years, losing friends. I never really thought that I would have to deal with this sort of thing often, but it does happen from time to time.
It is a very hard thing to cope with sometimes, especially when you were very close to this person. If you shared your life with them and told them everything about yourself, it makes the ending of the relationship that much harder.
One thing that I will never do is talk about that person in a negative light to anyone. My husband is a wonderful listener when it comes to things like this. If a friend or friends and I have an issue and the relationship fades, I make a point to only talk about it with my husband and that only happens after Monkey has gone to bed. I refuse to talk about the negative things about others with my son present. How he feels about someone in his life needs to be his decision, not mine. A few years back, I had fallen away from a friend and Monkey had only ever known this person as someone that was in his life. I simply told him that they would not be coming around as much. If he would have been old enough to fully comprehend that and it caused him any emotional pain, I would have comforted him and allowed him to share with me his feelings. In this case, he was only a couple years old at the time and didn’t really process anything on that.
I also make a point to allow myself time to truly feel my feelings on the loss of friendship. Something about myself that I am not proud of is, the fact if I don’t have time or allow myself the time to truly feel my feelings on a situation like this, I develop some pretty harsh feelings toward that person. By allowing myself some time to process the friendship ending, I am able to look at things a lot more rationally and I am able to move on a lot easier. The absolute last thing I would ever want to do, is harbor any feeling that could cause that person any kind of distress.
Once I have had time to truly process everything, I turn to my letter burning. I write everything down about how I felt when it happened, how I feel in the moment of writing, and what I wish I could say to that person. Then I read it to myself and burn the letter. Again, there truly is something therapeutic about this practice. It is a technique that a therapist suggested to me years ago. I find it very helpful.
After I have truly purged myself of any negative feelings, I make a point to think about all of the good things I can about that person. I want to remind myself that even though our friendship is over, they are still good and they deserve to be thought of as such.
While all of this is easy to write down in this post, I can assure you that it is not as easy to practice. I know that things in life don’t always end so simple and that sometimes it is just a nightmare to address anything regarding some people. What I do when I find myself still fighting off the negative feelings, pray. I pray even harder than if it was simple. I make sure I ask God to remind me why I was friends with that person to begin with, and I ask him to remove the negative feelings that I had developed for that person. I always find that asking God for help is the best thing for me.
I know that losing a friend is a terrible thing to go through and I am speaking straight from the heart when I tell you that I am here for you. I know that sometimes when a relationship falls apart and the bitterness tries to set in, it is tempting to just allow it to do it’s thing. It’s easy to hate a person, it is hard to love them when they have wronged you. However, in my faith, I am told that you love the person, hate what they do. I have found that if I remind myself of that, it makes it easier to fight off those horrible feelings.
I hope you found this post to be helpful. I also hope that you enjoyed today’s post. If you did, feel free to give this a like, comment, and share so others can enjoy or learn from this as well. I greatly appreciate reading your feedback and seeing all of the shares, it truly warms my heart. Until next time,