Hi! My name is Alishia and I am a KraftaholicMommy!
Sun shining, breeze blowing, and not a care in the world. I am in a moment of pure peace. I am not going to allow outside influences to bring down my joy. One thing that happens when I lose someone dear to my heart, I get angry. I know that this is merely one of the steps of grief and I am just needing to muddle through it, but it has been hard recently. I have been finding it hard to process even the simplest of things. Then, in Bible study at church, I was reminded of something. Jesus grieved. Before he rose Lazarus from the dead, he wept for his loss. I know that not everyone that visits, is a “Jesus Freak,” as myself. So let me put it this way. I am not the only person in the world suffering from a loss. I am not the person who even has it close to the worst. I am not going through the worst possible scenario that life has for some people. While it hurts to have lost my aunt, it is not the worst pain imaginable. So, why am I focusing all of my energy on the anger step? Why not take a moment when the anger bubbles up to remember something good.
For example, just this afternoon, I was feeling that anger and a funny little moment we shared came to mind. My uncle, her husband, Herbert, had a parrot. This parrot was his pride and joy, and the whole world knew it. He would lay down to relax in the heat of the day, and this parrot would perch up on his chest. Now, he would tell me that when she did that, I would be able to pet her. She loved to have her chest rubbed. I was about five years old at the time, and I was determined to pet this parrot that loved my uncle so much. One day, well, many days, I would go over to their house and my aunt would tell me that their parrot was going to let me pet her, that today was the day. NOPE! For about a month or so straight, that blasted parrot would not let me pet her. She would bite me every time my little hand got even remotely close to her. Until one day, my aunt and uncle told that bird that enough was enough. That is literally all they said to her, “Enough is enough.” Finally, I was able to pet that parrot. After that, every time we would visit them, she would let me pet her, no matter where she was at in the house she would fly to me and allow me to rub her chest. Thinking about that day, brought me such happiness and laughter. I was a stubborn child and I was certain that parrot was going to let me love her just like my aunt and uncle loved her.
My aunt was a funny woman, she taught me how to be fierce and loyal. I learned that my grandmother and her sisters had to tough in their younger days. Men dominated everything back in them days and if a woman wanted to do a “man’s” job, she had to take it with a fierceness. My mom learned how to be strong and independent from these three women. My aunt never let her pain of losing her daughter affect her other children. My aunt never denied a child a good meal and good prayer. Every family gathering, she made sure she made at least two peanut butter pies for all of the kids and my mom.
These are the things that I am reminding myself of when I feel that anger and pain creeping in. I can’t allow myself to be ran by it. I can’t allow it to seep in and destroy the joyous moments I was blessed with, with my aunt. I also have to remain strong for my family. I can’t let me broken heart to bleed over to my son. He understands that she has gone on to Heaven to be with the Lord and he knows that in our faith, in our truth, this isn’t supposed to be a sad thing.
I just wanted to take a moment and share that little bit of how I am doing at the moment with you all and I hope that everyone is doing well. I will be back at in a few days with a lot more fun cards and other paper crafting things.
Speaking of, if you are in the market for a good set of markers and are not interested in a ridiculous price, try Copic. You can find them on http://www.mftstamps.com/supplies/copic just click the link and it will take you there. I am loving the couple I recently purchased. This is not sponsored, I am not making any money on giving you all this link, I am just so happy with the product, I wanted to share it with you all.
Thank you for stopping by today. Until next time,