Hi! My name is Alishia and I am a KraftaholicMommy.
When I first made this website, I had this wonderful notion that I would be completely open with you all. I would talk my heart out about crafting and I would let you know about all of the things going on in my life. I have talked a lot of crafting, but not so much about myself.
I’m an introverted kind of person. If I had things my way, I probably would never have an interaction with anyone other than my family. I noticed, over the school year, that my son was beginning to show those same signs. He wanted to go to school, but that would be it. There would be a big fight to get him even remotely interested in going anywhere else. I thought of how horrible my social anxiety had become and I could not bare the thought of my son having the same issues, at such a young age.
My husband and I talked about the issue and decided that it would be a good idea to see if our son would like to play a sport. When asked, Monkey was excited about baseball. As soon as we found out the date for signups, we were online paying that money. For me, this was a bittersweet thing.
When I was growing up, my grandfather was a huge part of my life. I would go to his house and play in his workshop, while he worked away on something. I would sit on his lap while we watched the Atlanta Braves play. My grandfather was a huge part of my heart. He passed away just a year before I had my son. It completely devastated me. I was lost without him. He was a funny guy, he truly did not know a stranger. He loved to talk and crack jokes with anyone that he met.
When Monkey said he wanted to play baseball, it made the loss of my Papa, that much more apparent. I signed him up and that night, I cried for quite awhile thinking about much I wish my Papa could be here to see my little boy on that field.
God blessed me this season, Tee Ball was the best thing for our son. Him playing the sport gave him a sense of accomplishment and a huge sense of pride. He started focusing more in school, his behavior at school and at home improved. He began realizing that being a teammate is far better than doing things on his own. I was so proud of how much he had accomplished and how much he had grown over the season. I am so proud that even though the season has ended, he is still just as interested in the sport as he was the day he started. God has truly blessed me.
This season has even helped me deal better with social situations. I know that sounds horrible, but trust me, I needed some growth in that department. I am by no means a rude person, I always try to smile at people and give them respect. I also had gotten to the point that I didn’t want to be around people. My anxiety would have me running horrendous scenarios through my mind about how much the people around me, hated me. My anxiety was a hard thing to overcome throughout the course of this season. I would have to show up really early to practices, just so I could have enough time to push through an anxiety attack before Monkey started. I was a wreck the first month of the season. I hated myself for getting into this mess. That would be the first thirty minutes of my showing up at the ball field. The second I saw Monkey on that field, smiling, laughing, and running, I would calm right down and I could not help but smile.
I was not always like this. When I was younger, I was much better about pushing that anxiety away and being outgoing. I had a lot of people I would hang out with. Going to places that are packed with people, was not a problem for me. I don’t know when I started having an issue with pushing that fear and anxiety away. It got at its worst, after I had my son. The fears that come up after having a child is something they don’t tell you while you are pregnant.
Now, school is out of session and baseball season is over. I am having to remind myself that I can still go out in public and I will be fine. The anxiety will pass and I will be able to do whatever I am needing to do. I also don’t want all of the progress Monkey has made to be for nothing. So, this summer, I will be taking him to visit his cousins more. He made a friend at church and I will be taking him to his friends house for some awesome play dates.
I never thought I would be the mom that sets up play dates, but here I am. I never thought I would be the mom that worried over every little thing, but here I am. I would not change that about myself. It makes me more vigilant in watching my surroundings and keeping Monkey safe. I would however, change the anxiety if I could.
So, here I am living life, and loving my family. I hope this was helpful to someone. I hope that you enjoyed today’s post. If you did, feel free to give this a like, comment, or share. I would greatly appreciate it. Until next time,
Thank you and God Bless!
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